What's a GOOD friend ?

A good friend is someone you call in the middle of the night and answer your call, listen to you, give you advice and calm you down. A friend is someone who's gonna cross a continent to join you and  spend awesome time with you. That person ask for your news frequently, she/he knows everything about your life, every little details. You don't need to ask her/him for help, she/he just feels it when something's wrong and comes to you naturally. Furthermore, he/she'd prefer spend a night with you than with her/his boy/girlfriend. A friend is above all, someone who share your passions, you interests, opinions and ideas... A friend is always honest and respectful, keep secrets and accept your weaknesses. She/he knows you favorite color and favorite meal, what movie makes you cry and the name of all your exes. 

Well people, everything I just said is bull**** !

People always want perfect friends but nobody's perfect. Being tolerant (once again this notion come up) is the most important thing in every relationship. Even though we're all human (already read that somewhere) we're all different. We don't think and react the same way and we don't have the same expectations. No one is always honest and respectful. We all have weaknesses and don't know what to do in every situations. 

For example, I've already said, often, "I'd never do that to her", yourself as well right ? 

Well, that's the most intolerant sentence in the world. It doesn't mean that because a friend did a thing you'd never have done that she/he is a bad person and especially a bad friend. 

We're selfish by nature and that's not being pessimistic but realistic. Nobody is willing to consecrate  time to your happiness. We've our own backgrounds, relationships, problems and to expect someone to react the same way you would is being narrow-minded and beat yourself up. I know it's hard to think that way and not being disappointed when a friend don't match with your expectations. 

We didn't choose our friends because they were attentive and kind. We chose them because they make us laugh, we shared experiences together, we hang out with them and enjoy it. A friendship isn't something flat, that's a roller coaster cause life change, ours and theirs as well. 

So okay, sometimes it's hard (but aka Coldplay - nobody said it was easy-) cause two close friends can be in different places. One of them can be lonely and need more than ever her/his BFF while the other has just a busy life. But guys, really, does not mean she/he forgot about you and doesn't love you anymore. It's just a matter of changes. Things CHANGE and to live in the past or to go on about it, won't fix anything and make it easier. We just have to be strong, learn how to live like that and move forward. 

"Someone who stop learning is a dead man." We do learn everyday, every week and that for the rest of our life. Don't think people's life is better than yours, stop looking around. You're the "master of your fate", don't give up on happiness. I'm not a believer but I still pray, to get focused on my goals, to think of my deepest wishes, to send strength and love to all the persons I love. Even though they don't know it, it makes me happy. I don't think of the utility of everything, and you should stop doing it as well. 

To sum up, a good friend doesn't exist but a true friend, YES! Someone with who you shared amazing moments of life and have comon memories. Someone with who you forget everything because you can't stop laughing. Someone you admire cause she/he has something you don't. Someone real, S O M E O N E ... And the good news is, you don't have a limit amount of friend in  your life, the next one is maybe right next to you, just open your eyes and be open. 

I deeply thought to all my friends while writing this article. I wrote it for someone I love, someone important to me. Not a friend but more than that. And I would like her to try to understand those things. I am not here to give you a lesson or teach you life, far from that. It's just my way to help, put things into perspective and show you I care. I'll keep praying for everybody I love and think to the others lonely soul on earth.

Truly,
Louise

The date mania

Traveling and experiencing other cultures made me realise how people have different perceptions of life, different habits and customs. Even though we're all human being, our way of living is different.

Having several experiences abroad help people to be open minded and tolerant. That's not something stupid to say, that's a true fact, you just realise it when you're travelling.
When you grow up in a country with a really strong society structure, opinions and prejudices about absolutely everything you don't really have other options than being narrow minded. It's just a question of tolerance and the way your parents raised you. The thing is that if you don't experience other cultures you don't really know if the one you're into really fits you.

Anyway, one curious thing for French people is the global notion of "dating".

The french translation for date is "rancard", no other translation even though we don't use that word in the everyday french language. Moreover, there are several other meanings. I'm not sure if I got the perfect meaning of this word/expression but I'll try to explain it to you. 

1- Going out on a date

Two persons get to know each other going out on dates. It can be going out to the movies, out for dinner, out for a drink... It's possible to date several persons at the same time only if it's not really serious and neither side want to commit in a real relationship. You can't date your brother or your friends, the purpose of a date is to get to know someone in order to maybe start something in the futur (for the one well intentioned). 

Double date: Two "couples" going out on a date together. American people are big fans of double dates. Imagine the voice of a st**** American chick saying to her BFF "Owww let's go on a double date!!". 

2- Dating someone 

When you really have a crush on someone then you start a real relationship and you're dating him or her.
Meaning : official boyfriend or girlfriend. 

When you wanna say to someone that this dude is your boy you can say "I'm dating him". 

and if you wanna say that you were with this girl for 2 years you can say "I dated her for 2 years". 

3- Do you wanna be my date ? 

Okay, here is another meaning. When you don't have an official partner to come with you to an event or a party then you can ask a friend, your mother or brother to be your date during the day or the night, he or she will keep you company.

As a french it's a little bit awkward to face the date situation because I never know if it's just hanging out or dating. Anyway, doesn't really matter, the rule number 1 is to be clear with the person since the beginning.

Saturday night fever !

Hello everyone, 

I went out on saturday and wanted to write something about clubs. You know those places where people are either dancing, drinking or making out in every corner acting as if they were the only ones (I would say "Get a roooom !"). 

Well, I love those clubs, I love dancing but I also love standing against the wall, by myself and looking at them. 

First of all, I'm wondering the purpose of all this. We don't even talk with our friends, music is loud and brains are damaged. Like a profiler in criminal minds, I'm gonna draw up two different popular profiles. 

1- The "every girls are a piece of meat" dude
I am talking to you girls. Those guys, pretty famous and annoying, are usually drunk and try to talk to every girls in the club. They don't care about how you look or who you really are, you are a girl (to be soft) and this is all that matters. 

Usually those womanizer don't really know how to approach you and are really goofy. We feel them coming by far, all sweaty with hungry eyes. 

Here is the top 3 of their favorite approach: 

1- "Hey you, I've never seen such a beautiful girl since ..."

2 - "I am wondering how such a pretty girl can be here alone."

3 - "Does anyone already told you that you look a lot like Scarlett Johansson?"

Your thought about this : 
1- I saw him talking to 20 girls before me, does he really think I'm gonna believe him ? 
2- It's better to be alone than in bad company
3- Really ? I have dark and curly hair, is he blind or something ? 

What they think you are going to think (it works for each sentences) : 
She is gonna be flattered and therefore have desire for me and end up in my bed. 

You know what we say : "where there's life there's hope". We can't blame them to try. 

2- The "out of control" gal 

Target number 1 for the "every girls are a piece of meat" dudes, those girls are neither tipsy, neither drunk, they are waisted. They don't dance, they stumble on the dance floor. Sometimes you see them crying, poor girls life is so hard ! 

They go out and use it as a pretext to wear a short dress and make themselves up. Their goal is to find a guy paying for their drinks. Two in the morning and this is it. Too drunk, they can't even walk in their $20 high heels. Lean on her BFF looking for a cab, she will have to wait seating on the sidewalks for hours (The thing is that cab drivers would rather leave a girl outside than taking the risk to mess up their car). 

This weird world called Facebook

Why are we addicted to Facebook? Who are those people we used to call « friends ». Ask yourself a question « how many friends do you really have » and I’m not talking about buddies and pals, I’m talking about reaaal friends.

I’m not surprised to see my « friends » posting their entire life on Facebook, it became normal, usual. The thing is that now, people can’t keep for themselves what they are doing or did cause it’s so much better to show to the entire world that your life is awesome and magical and that you are a very active person who does tons of interesting stuff. Have you experienced this feeling when you see the number of likes increasing from one hour to the next? It seems so cool to have 100 persons liking your profile picture, but what does that mean exactly? Does it make you happier?

Maybe 50% of your Facebook friends are just curious and keep you as a “friend” to see your boyfriend ‘s face and check on your life, see and show to all the former student from high school how you got fat since you moved in with your boy right in front of McDonalds and pizza planet. 

I am so much happier to call my friend to tell them I saw a beautiful sunset on Easter Sunday (and yes I did) than posting it on Facebook and waiting to see if my crush likes this (I’m sure you know what I mean).

Of course nobody’s perfect and we all have weaknesses. I don’t think Facebook is a stupid network, I just think that we have to watch out the purpose of all our post and PLEASE people, we don’t care about what you were eating last night.

Don’t envy your Facebook friend (Over 33% of Facebook users report feeling unhappy during their visit. Envying Facebook “friends” is the major reason for the unhappiness). Try to be honest with yourself, to enjoy simple moment and keep for yourself deep in your heart memories and feelings. It will feed you much more than posting and sharing it on Facebook.

Cheers

HIPSTER lesson number 1

Dear reader,

I'm ready to write my second article. I'm gonna try to be more FLAMBOYANT and bold cause yes people, I've got someone judging me up there, he's scary as hell, making fun of me all day long, but I'm a strong girl and he can't unsettle me. AS IF! 

Ok joking aside, I decided to talk about the HIPSTER movement invading our little world with their way of being, thinking, dressing, eating and living. The thing is people don't have an exact idea of what a hipster is, so I'm gonna try to investigate and give you few lessons split in several articles. 

For those who want to chill out in a lounge smoking pipe dating a soft Janis Joplin girl mixed to an innocent & sensual Jane Birkin and others looking for a stylish "dandy" only if the mustache doesn't bother you, open your ears. 

Lesson 1. Dress like a Hipster 

Basically, the hipsters like to stand out showing their differences, they try to make it different with hats, glasses, colourful socks, patterns, platforms shoes, different materials (leather, denim, straw, fur...). Their biggest secret is to mix the old (second hand shop clothes) with the new.

The female hipster : 

She has wild and messy long hair, forget the layered cut and red hair (so 2000's) give way to neutral colors.  She wears a flowered shirt buttoned up, a tight and high waist black jean, a pair of creepers or platforms shoes, a hat (with a words or sentence on it, the meaning doesn't really matter) and a pair of glasses (Terry Richardson style). 

She rocks and "rolls" on the street with her skateboard (usually under her arm because she is not really good at it) and a backpack. 

Even though the hipster lives in the city, the laziest ones can be the owner of a vespa or a vintage Fiat 500 (daddy's present). 

Watch out your eyebrows ladies, let it be thick but look after it. Bye bye eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadows give a shot to your mouth and light up your face with blush. 

HIPSTER'S BACKPACK

The male hipster: 

Oh boy, he has THE haircut, this is essential. Their hair are quite long (for fellas) but not brushed like James Dean the hipster doesn't wash his hair more than once a week. Indeed, oily hair look wilder. He has shorter hair on the side of his skull, and messy hair on the top but unfortunately (or not) you barely see it cause he likes hats.  Hell yea, he LOVED that, every type, every shape, every color and he loves dating hipster so the couple can  "share" hats (romantic right?), that's also economical during winter (Damn I should date a hipster!). 

Then after the hair, the face. The hipster sport a beautiful mustache, beard or WORSE sideburns. Even though he sees perfectly, he is wearing small round glasses. 

His outfit could be a wheel sweater with cats on it (I am not lying: http://legeekcestchic.eu/creez-votre-pull-de-noel-avec-coca-cola-zero/) a tight pair of jeans and a pair of vans sneakers (used). An alternative way of dressing would be the famous lumberjacks shirt with straps, a "chino" trousers hem at the bottom, funny socks and loafers or derby shoes. 

                          TERRY AND CARA

Here it is, my first hipster lesson about fashion. I was harsh but people take it with a pinch of salt. Hope you liked it, feel free to comment. 

Au revoir. 

Sound the bells

Dear Followers,

I am creative, I don't know if you noticed (look at the address of the blog and the title, do you see it now?). 

Since I start this blog as a part of my training here in Cape Town, I would like to write my first article about my experience here and point out one thing in particular. 

Well, I went surfing on sunday afternoon, this was my first time doing it, I was excited and scared at the same time thinking of Jay Moriarity and the big wave or the Hawaiian surfer crossing the impossible and surfing on walls like I would simply do jump rope. OK nothing comparable, we can agree on that, the waves were "wavies". Anyway, I come from France and I see sharks on TV, in movies (Everybody's seen Jaws or "les dents de la mer" for the francophone) but I've never been in a situation were you find yourself in the situation of that poor kid in jaws, well NOW I have. 

So I was in the ocean, quite far from the shore trying to stand up on my board (and NO I wasn't successful) when I heard a siren. Feel free to judge me, I was not panicked, I actually did not even look around me or question myself about this alarm. I was far from thinking about sharks. I stayed in the water for another 5 minutes but when I finally looked around, nobody was around, I was the only one, 10minutes from the shore and people were waving me to come back quickly. Ok, THAT moment was the scariest one of my entire life. As soon as I realized that it was urgent to come back I tried with all my little muscles to come back to shore. I questioned myself "what is the fastest way to get back over there?" "What is the best position to avoid being eaten by sharks", questions were left without answers cause I was trying hard, out of breath to swim as fast as I could. 

When my feet touched the sand, I wanted to cry, I like adrenaline but that was something, I would have to pass up. 

I don't know how you're feeling right now, but it was impressive, I felt powerless and for the first time not safe at all. 

I won't give up on surfing, I will just be more careful and I will keep you posted of my progress. 

Cheers, 

Louise